"When we are mindful of our struggles and respond to ourselves with compassion, kindness, and support in times of difficulty, things start to change".
We can learn to embrace ourselves and our lives, despite inner and outer imperfections, and provide ourselves with the strength needed to thrive.
Think of it this way, what if you were to treat yourself as if you would treat a loved one even if you had your differences with them. Imagine the level of emotional fulfillment you will achieve once you start treating yourself in the same manner.
People with high levels of self-compassion demonstrate three behaviors: First, they are kind rather than judgmental about their own failures and mistakes; second, they recognize that failures are a shared human experience; and third, they take a balanced approach to negative emotions when they stumble or fall short—they allow themselves to feel bad, but they don’t let negative emotions take over.
Harvard psychologist Christopher Germer, suggests that there are five ways to bring self-compassion into your life: via physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual methods. He and other experts have proposed a variety of ways to foster self-compassion. Here are a few:
Comfort your body. Eat something healthy. Lie down and rest your body. Massage your own neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Anything you can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a dose of self-compassion.
Write a letter to yourself. Describe a situation that caused you to feel pain (a breakup with a lover, a job loss, poor feedback from someone). Write a letter to yourself describing the situation without blaming anyone. Acknowledge your feelings.
Give yourself encouragement. If something bad or painful happens to you, think of what you would say to a good friend if the same thing happened to him or her. Direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.
Practice mindfulness. This is the nonjudgmental observation of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, without trying to suppress or deny them. When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, accept the bad with the good with a compassionate attitude.
Forgiving and nurturing yourself can set the stage for better health, relationships, and general well-being. Self-compassion yields a number of benefits, including lower levels of anxiety and depression. Self-compassionate people recognize when they are suffering and are kind to themselves at these times, which reduces their anxiety and related depression.
While it is hard for some of us to be self-compassionate naturally, luckily it’s a learnable skill. It starts with the mindful intention & practice of compassion towards ourselves.
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