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How to Heal After a Divorce or Separation

by Alma Wellbeing

The end of a marriage or long-term relationship can come with many emotions, changes and fears. The process of divorce or separation is complicated enough on its own but when you have kids involved it becomes even more entangled. In such times it is extremely important to remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. “What you think is an end, is also a new beginning”. Dealing with countless emotions while figuring out your next step towards rebuilding your life can take time, efforts and strength and your focus can either help you to recover or block your healing.

It is easy to get caught up in the blame-game, anger and expecting an apology (which you might never get). The more time you spend dwelling on sadness, hurt and regrets the more you can become negative and destructive. “It’s exceptionally necessary to reach out for support and temperate the time you spend in any immense feelings while going through the grieving process. Let yourself experience them, but if it becomes challenging to function the daily tasks of life (which it can sometimes), reach out for help. Your family, friends, a therapist, a life coach or trusted others who you can be authentic with can play an important role in providing the support that you need for your recovery.”

Regardless of what happened, focus on what you can do to grow and evolve as a person. “The goal is to re-discover yourself, rather than being caught up in the whirl of sadness”. Self-development is the key to moving on. Whether you pray, meditate, see a life coach, write a journal, or speak with friends and family be honest and authentic in expressing your thoughts and think how you can grow and evolve from this phase of your life. At some point you do want to think what part of the relationship did not work out? Do you need to learn to pick your battles or set healthy boundaries ? is low self-esteem or compromising something you struggle with? It can be challenging to look at yourself in this way especially if you have been seeing yourself from your partner’s eyes for a long time, but it can really change the dynamics of your next relationship and your relationship with yourself. Every relationship is a learning opportunity, and long term relationships can teach us a lot if we reflect on them.

Beside self-development mentally and emotionally, focus on your physical wellbeing. Overall wellbeing is a combination of mental, psychical and emotional health. Exercise and a healthy diet are two great ways to destress and increase your serotonin levels. During this time of transition and healing, make yourself a priority and ensure you are receiving adequate support and self-love.

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